It's Been Months


Allison Grayhurst

since this shell’s
 

collapsed and I have been intoxicated
 

with this hard joy of immediacy and a world
 

without blunder or hesitation. It has been irritating –
 

to feel this hot longing in my gut,
 

reflecting on nothing, worrying about nothing but the smells
 

around me, the power of pale hands too close to so many faces –
 

the long black rope I climb and climb and love like
 

my only wardrobe. It has been months since I left
 

that heavy weight behind. Guilt
 

is something I’ve outgrown and my blood feels poisoned by
 

this strange alchemy. I know it is not female or male,
 

but saturated with desire and burning and swelling – not in flashes,
 

but constant as the pulsing sun. The unsettling of this unexpected
 

heaven – the knowing that I can look no further than today –
 

seeing both like an insect and like a god – breathing through the terror,
 

at peace with the terror and the thousand lifetimes it took to get me
 

to this place, unbound – sliced in all the hard places
 

and so. and so.
 

explosively, barbarously
 

connected.

 

 

About the Writer
Allison Grayhurst Split Lip Magazine

​Allison Grayhurst has had her poetry published in over 100 literary magazines in Canada, the U.S., England, India and Australia. Her last book, Somewhere Falling, was published in 1995 by Beach Holme Publishers, a Porcepic Book. She lives in Toronto, Canada with her husband, two children, two cats and a dog. She also sculpts, working in clay.